Why should you give yourself grace? Your own opinion of yourself can lead to stress and unhappiness. Feeling that you are less than others, and that you constantly fail to measure up, can actually cause you anxiety, depression and anger. In our competitive society it’s easy to feel that your self-worth depends on being above average in all things. Well, no one is above average in ALL things. Even the highest of achievers in many areas have no guarantee of happiness. It’s time to abandon the pursuit of “owning up”, and instead, time to begin to cultivate an attitude of loving kindness towards yourself. It’s time to stop having an overly self-critical opinion of your abilities and traits, for being human and sometimes implementing coping mechanisms to get through tough circumstances.
Giving yourself grace will reduce feelings of low self-worth, envy of the good fortune of others, and depression caused by your own self judgement. Self judgement is a habit of thought and action, but so can be giving yourself grace. All too often we dwell and obsess over loathing our physical appearance, or our bad habits, our past actions, or experiences we regret or wish didn’t happen, which can make us feel ashamed, scared, depressed, angry, anxious and frustrated. Practice makes progress so you can replace these dwelling, obsessive thoughts with new ones of deep self compassion. Just like the compassion you would apply to your sweet friend if they were dwelling and obsessing with negative talk about themselves. You deserve success. You deserve to thrive without applying pressure to yourself. Instead apply complete and utter acceptance. This kind of all-accepting grace for yourself relieves the chronic tension of self judgement and helps you relax into a new, positive attitude about yourself and even the world. Which in turn, brings peace and happiness. You begin to analyze better, think wider and see things in a brighter perspective, enabling you to better overcome hardship, set and reach goals, gain more confidence and have better connections with yourself and others.
So how in the world do we do this, you ask??? When you begin to speak unkind words to yourself or are applying negative self judgement, ALWAYS apply your “However“. Here are some examples as to how to turn those thoughts around: When you begin to blame yourself for circumstances gone wrong in your life or the lives of those in your family, think “however, Self, you were always doing your best in some hard situations. You did what seemed right at the time, considering the circumstances and resources you had then. So you need to let go and do your best to make things better moving forward, and can only be responsible for yourself, not what other people decide to do” OR when you look in the mirror and see extra weight, or any other feature you deem undesirable, think “however, Self, this is just a surface reality. I know who you are deep down to the core. I know the caring, loving, sincere person you are. How you look is insignificant compared to who you are. Focus on being healthy, rather than how you look, then confidence in appearance will be a byproduct of proper focus” OR when you’re angry about not getting attention, being dismissed or passed over or hard work going unnoticed, feeling unappreciated, think “however, Self, I admire that you are a hard worker, that you contribute the best you can in any particular case, good times and bad. You don’t have any real control over who gets attention or noticed instead of you, so no need to take it personally. You can be proud of a job well done, your efforts and care regardless of who realizes it or not.”
Almost every minute, you are engaging in self talk, your internal thought language. If your self talk is kind, you function well. If it is unkind, which is actually untrue and irrational, you experience stress and emotional disturbance. It is emotionally dangerous to allow unkind words to yourself. Instead, acknowledge your strong points, give yourself grace on your shortcomings, nourish yourself with gentleness and tolerance and more profound and lasting results towards being the best version of yourself will come! You need NO ONE’S acceptance but your own….But I want you to know that I accept you just the way you are. You are enough, you are worth it, you are beautiful! ❤❤❤
– Your Coach and Friend forever,
A
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